Why I am one and done!

I am utterly obsessed with my child. I adore him, and I get separation anxiety if I have to go get my hair done without him, but there is no part of baby making/growing/raising that I want to do again.

 I have jokingly said that I was going to write a book called, "When Two Selfish People Have a Baby," because honestly, my husband is perfect for me. We were best friends. We agree on everything, and love nothing more than to just hang out with each other and never go out. We never get sick of each other, and then we have a baby, and boom! I honestly, don't know if our relationship can handle another baby. It has brought out the ugliest parts of both of us.

First of all, my pregnancy was one of the worst things I have experienced. Honestly, if I could have afforded a surrogate, I would have gone that route. I had nausea and vomiting all day, every day, the first three months, migraines at least twice a week the second trimester, heartburn, swelling, itching, and people constantly telling me how gigantic I was. Except, during the last trimester, I had people ask me if I was on a special diet, because I looked nowhere near 9 months. Make up your freakin minds already!

 I really don't want to go through the sleep challenges again. I never again want to rock a baby to sleep for an hour and half or longer, or hear them cry until they fall asleep. It breaks my heart, and I can't do it again. Also the teething, I have done everything I can to help his little hurting gums. He wears a Baltic amber teething necklace, and I give him teething tablets from time to time, but I know his little gums still bother him, as he chews on everything he can get into his mouth.

I want to know I have enough time to focus on my one child. I want to know that we can afford lessons/courses for whatever he wants to learn. I don't want to struggle financially to provide him with the very best education. We have a beautiful, smart baby boy. I have never wanted, and gotten anything more perfect, but he alone, is a lot of work!

We (and when I say we, I mean me), because my husband doesn't even want to talk about it when I tell him constantly, we are only having one, because there is no way I'm doing this again. He says it's up to me, but refuses to get a vasectomy....hmmm.

I also like the fact that when Wilson is napping, we can have Mommy and Daddy time, or I have time to blog, read, or watch my shows. I feel like I might get more of this time as he gets more independent. I can't bring another one into the mix and take my precious, selfish time.

This next thing I'm about to mention is especially selfish, but I'm going to say it anyway. I got really lucky, although, I was sick, even miserable sometimes during pregnancy, my baby was always healthy and fine (even though, I didn't eat as well as I should have), and he was born perfect. (to me) He is a perfect, beautiful mix of both me and my husband. I sometimes have the fear that if we were to try to have another, it might be high needs, autistic, mentally ill, and would wreck our future plans, or that we might not get a girl. (go ahead and crucify me), but honestly, if I had another, I would definitely want it to be a girl. I would want a beautiful, little girl that I could dress up in tutus and oversize hair bows, and if it turned out to be a boy, I would cry. I would love him with all my heart just as much as Wilson, but I would be sad for a time.

I have said maybe if Wilson, himself, asks me for a brother or sister, I might consider it, but I'm almost 32 and he's not even 1, so I think by the time he even considers doing that, I would consider myself too high risk and old to have another anyway.

Right now, with one child, our house is the perfect size. We have plenty of room for the 3 of us in our cute, little house. If I had another child, I would definitely have to buy a bigger home. I hate moving, and never want to do it again, unless it's just temporary. Another thing is traveling. I want to travel all around the world with my son. My dream is to move to different countries, teach English, and let my son learn different languages, and all about different cultures in the world. If you have more than one child, traveling becomes way more of a hassle, and more complicated with things to pack, and keep up with. I know for a fact, we will be traveling to South Korea at least every other year.

I really struggle with how I would give more than one child the love and attention I want to give them. If Wilson wants to learn how to play an instrument, play sports, and get acting lessons, I want to give him all of them, as much as he wants, and I want to be there to watch as much as can, of him learning and growing. I was one of four children, growing up, and I wish that my family had the means to provide me with opportunities to reach my full potential (like studying abroad), and learn everything I wanted, but they just couldn't, because they had to worry about three other children, as well.

People always say I should have another, because Wilson will get lonely. I don't think so. Wilson has more baby friends than I have friends, and he doesn't even know it yet. I get out with him all the time, and everywhere I go, there are tons of other children. I pull out his toys, and I know, he doesn't understand, but I always let all the other children play with his toys, and I will always show him how to share what he has, and be giving and considerate of others.

I was at a baby wearing meeting one day, and I told the other moms that I had to go, because I was having brunch with a friend. One of the moms said, "Oh, the luxury of only having one child." I said in response, "Yes, that is why I am one and done. I want to keep having brunch with my friends. Mama likes to drink and hang out."

Call me selfish, but these are my reasons, in a nutshell. Thanks for reading. Feel free to comment.