I'm sure this will turn into a forever on-going list:
1. When a mom's facebook name is so and so's mom. For example: Johnny's mom. I love Wilson more than anything in this world, but my whole identity is not Wilson's Mom.
Like I said, that's all I got so far. List your pet peeves, mommy, or otherwise. lol
Wednesday, January 7, 2015
Let's talk I was told there'd by cake (a book by Sloane Crosley) *spoiler alert
What I've learned about writing from this book: If you want to be a successful memoir writer, you must follow these rules:
1. Write about your upbringing in ways that make it sound charming in its quirkiness (e.g. the Vowell/Klosterman strategy), charming in its weirdness (the Sedaris strategy) or terrifying (the Burroughs strategy). Under no circumstances should you have normal, perceptive parents who were socially adept with no strange habits whatsoever. No one wants to read about that.
2. Write about high school and college, but make sure you don’t make your experience sound too fun or interesting.. Make sure you write about your social and academic struggles and/or humiliations so your readers can either relate and/or feel superior. Do not be popular at college or high school! This is the kiss of death. Make sure you paint yourself as kind of a loser.
3. Write about the shitty jobs you have had. Remember, some of your readers may have shitty jobs and want to be successful writers themselves. You have to give them the glimmer of hope that they, too, will be someday on Oprah or a bestselling author.
4. Write about religion but only from a distant “my family wasn’t that into it” or “my family was into it but I’m not now,” perspective. Stating “I still go to mass every Sunday, yep, sit in the back pew” will kill your book deal.
5. Write about your family, of course, but choose a strategy (see #1) and stick with it. Make sure you are alternately embarrassed in front of and embarrassed by your family. Loving parents are ok as long as they’re generally clueless.
6. Write at least one chapter/essay as a mash note to New York City. If this can be combined with the shitty job (see #3) all the better. Make sure you refer to New York in ways people who have never been to NY will not understand (e.g. “I lived in the seventies”) but would like to pretend they do. Describe your small and crappy apartment. Extra points if you can work in a 9/11 reference.
7. Be gay.
8. If you can’t be gay, then address both the fact you have chosen your dates/relationships badly (e.g. dated strange, almost psychotic partners) and behaved poorly in other situations (e.g. blown it with the potentially perfect partner). Do not admit to having a healthy romantic relationship unless you catalog your previous poor choices and frame your current relationship within a lens of redemption (e.g. the Jancee Dunn method). Describe at least one sexual encounter gone awry.
9. Reference slightly obscure pop culture as much as possible. Bands, television shows, etc. all work. Your readers will recognize these references and think that if they write about, say, the first time they saw “Twin Peaks” then they too can be successful memoirists/essayists.
10. Include a few drug/alcohol experiences but do not get into sad, “I’m a drug addict" territory. That’s a different type of book (exception: Burrough’s Dry). Don’t forget to frame these experiences as more or less harmless but connected to #s 2, 3, and 8 above when appropriate.
Do you guys agree with those rules? I got them from another reviewer and thought they were almost as funny as this book. I laughed out loud several times when she was talking about playing Oregon Trail, and I loved how she had such a comedic way with words. I wish I were that witty, especially in my writing.
Let's talk about the book: Wild by Cheryl Strayed (spoilers)
I picked this book u, when it first came out. Then some life stuff happened, and I figured it might be boring anyway. I read all the time, so I guess I just chose to read something else, or didn't have time.
I have been a stay at home mom for a while now and have started to read things again that didn't involve babies or parenting. I had planned to read a ton of ghost stories for Halloween, and wound up getting through One!That took me over a month after Halloween. Anyway, I used to have a wine and book club, but no one ever read the book, and it became about just drinking, and gossiping, which is awesome, but sometimes you really want to discuss the book you read.
I live less than 5 min. from our local library, and they have a book club, so I decided to utilize it, and read the book. They were reading Wild. I showed up to the meeting, just barely finishing the book, the day before, with my 5 month old in tow.
The majority of this group was made up of retirees, possibly at least 20 years older than me. I would almost bet I was the younger person there, besides my five month old.
I must say, I really loved this book. I love the writing, and could relate to the writer's feelings in some parts of the book, like I was right there with her. I was ready to gush about all the things I loved about it, but I really think now that I have attended this meeting, age has so much to do with how much you like books.
A lot of the older ladies in the group though that the author was super self-centered. They said she was so self-absorbed, and ill prepared. She messes up her life with drugs and reckless sex. She gets special treatment, because she was pretty and 26 years old. They had their doubts she was even truthful about the whole book.
I defended her saying that her bravery and honesty really touched me. To me this is a story about loss and pain. She could have given up, but she didn't. She pressed on. She finished the trail by herself. I felt like she encompassed and made the reader feel her emotions as she was hungry, lonely, sore, her pack was way too heavy, and her feet were bleeding. I was blown away by her courage. I would never take on an adventure of this measure by myself, so it was good to live vicariously through her and feel her hardships. I've never lost a parent, but I have no idea how I would deal with such an ordeal, and Cheryl used the Pacific Crest Trail to face her demons and work through her issues with her mother's death.
The only criticism I have is that I'm really not sure what she realized by the end of the book...What was so different about her? I feel she rushed the ending and didn't really summarize what she had learned. Maybe that was supposed to be a read between the lines sort of thing. I didn't get it. She did say she had learned to love again, and now had children, but I really wanted to learn how she became a better person, and she never really thoroughly explained that.
Did you read the book? What were your thoughts? I'm really anxious to watch the movie now!
I have been a stay at home mom for a while now and have started to read things again that didn't involve babies or parenting. I had planned to read a ton of ghost stories for Halloween, and wound up getting through One!That took me over a month after Halloween. Anyway, I used to have a wine and book club, but no one ever read the book, and it became about just drinking, and gossiping, which is awesome, but sometimes you really want to discuss the book you read.
I live less than 5 min. from our local library, and they have a book club, so I decided to utilize it, and read the book. They were reading Wild. I showed up to the meeting, just barely finishing the book, the day before, with my 5 month old in tow.
The majority of this group was made up of retirees, possibly at least 20 years older than me. I would almost bet I was the younger person there, besides my five month old.
I must say, I really loved this book. I love the writing, and could relate to the writer's feelings in some parts of the book, like I was right there with her. I was ready to gush about all the things I loved about it, but I really think now that I have attended this meeting, age has so much to do with how much you like books.
A lot of the older ladies in the group though that the author was super self-centered. They said she was so self-absorbed, and ill prepared. She messes up her life with drugs and reckless sex. She gets special treatment, because she was pretty and 26 years old. They had their doubts she was even truthful about the whole book.
I defended her saying that her bravery and honesty really touched me. To me this is a story about loss and pain. She could have given up, but she didn't. She pressed on. She finished the trail by herself. I felt like she encompassed and made the reader feel her emotions as she was hungry, lonely, sore, her pack was way too heavy, and her feet were bleeding. I was blown away by her courage. I would never take on an adventure of this measure by myself, so it was good to live vicariously through her and feel her hardships. I've never lost a parent, but I have no idea how I would deal with such an ordeal, and Cheryl used the Pacific Crest Trail to face her demons and work through her issues with her mother's death.
The only criticism I have is that I'm really not sure what she realized by the end of the book...What was so different about her? I feel she rushed the ending and didn't really summarize what she had learned. Maybe that was supposed to be a read between the lines sort of thing. I didn't get it. She did say she had learned to love again, and now had children, but I really wanted to learn how she became a better person, and she never really thoroughly explained that.
Did you read the book? What were your thoughts? I'm really anxious to watch the movie now!
Tuesday, January 6, 2015
Why I am one and done!
I am utterly obsessed with my child. I adore him, and I get separation anxiety if I have to go get my hair done without him, but there is no part of baby making/growing/raising that I want to do again.
I have jokingly said that I was going to write a book called, "When Two Selfish People Have a Baby," because honestly, my husband is perfect for me. We were best friends. We agree on everything, and love nothing more than to just hang out with each other and never go out. We never get sick of each other, and then we have a baby, and boom! I honestly, don't know if our relationship can handle another baby. It has brought out the ugliest parts of both of us.
First of all, my pregnancy was one of the worst things I have experienced. Honestly, if I could have afforded a surrogate, I would have gone that route. I had nausea and vomiting all day, every day, the first three months, migraines at least twice a week the second trimester, heartburn, swelling, itching, and people constantly telling me how gigantic I was. Except, during the last trimester, I had people ask me if I was on a special diet, because I looked nowhere near 9 months. Make up your freakin minds already!
I really don't want to go through the sleep challenges again. I never again want to rock a baby to sleep for an hour and half or longer, or hear them cry until they fall asleep. It breaks my heart, and I can't do it again. Also the teething, I have done everything I can to help his little hurting gums. He wears a Baltic amber teething necklace, and I give him teething tablets from time to time, but I know his little gums still bother him, as he chews on everything he can get into his mouth.
I want to know I have enough time to focus on my one child. I want to know that we can afford lessons/courses for whatever he wants to learn. I don't want to struggle financially to provide him with the very best education. We have a beautiful, smart baby boy. I have never wanted, and gotten anything more perfect, but he alone, is a lot of work!
We (and when I say we, I mean me), because my husband doesn't even want to talk about it when I tell him constantly, we are only having one, because there is no way I'm doing this again. He says it's up to me, but refuses to get a vasectomy....hmmm.
I also like the fact that when Wilson is napping, we can have Mommy and Daddy time, or I have time to blog, read, or watch my shows. I feel like I might get more of this time as he gets more independent. I can't bring another one into the mix and take my precious, selfish time.
This next thing I'm about to mention is especially selfish, but I'm going to say it anyway. I got really lucky, although, I was sick, even miserable sometimes during pregnancy, my baby was always healthy and fine (even though, I didn't eat as well as I should have), and he was born perfect. (to me) He is a perfect, beautiful mix of both me and my husband. I sometimes have the fear that if we were to try to have another, it might be high needs, autistic, mentally ill, and would wreck our future plans, or that we might not get a girl. (go ahead and crucify me), but honestly, if I had another, I would definitely want it to be a girl. I would want a beautiful, little girl that I could dress up in tutus and oversize hair bows, and if it turned out to be a boy, I would cry. I would love him with all my heart just as much as Wilson, but I would be sad for a time.
I have said maybe if Wilson, himself, asks me for a brother or sister, I might consider it, but I'm almost 32 and he's not even 1, so I think by the time he even considers doing that, I would consider myself too high risk and old to have another anyway.
Right now, with one child, our house is the perfect size. We have plenty of room for the 3 of us in our cute, little house. If I had another child, I would definitely have to buy a bigger home. I hate moving, and never want to do it again, unless it's just temporary. Another thing is traveling. I want to travel all around the world with my son. My dream is to move to different countries, teach English, and let my son learn different languages, and all about different cultures in the world. If you have more than one child, traveling becomes way more of a hassle, and more complicated with things to pack, and keep up with. I know for a fact, we will be traveling to South Korea at least every other year.
I really struggle with how I would give more than one child the love and attention I want to give them. If Wilson wants to learn how to play an instrument, play sports, and get acting lessons, I want to give him all of them, as much as he wants, and I want to be there to watch as much as can, of him learning and growing. I was one of four children, growing up, and I wish that my family had the means to provide me with opportunities to reach my full potential (like studying abroad), and learn everything I wanted, but they just couldn't, because they had to worry about three other children, as well.
People always say I should have another, because Wilson will get lonely. I don't think so. Wilson has more baby friends than I have friends, and he doesn't even know it yet. I get out with him all the time, and everywhere I go, there are tons of other children. I pull out his toys, and I know, he doesn't understand, but I always let all the other children play with his toys, and I will always show him how to share what he has, and be giving and considerate of others.
I was at a baby wearing meeting one day, and I told the other moms that I had to go, because I was having brunch with a friend. One of the moms said, "Oh, the luxury of only having one child." I said in response, "Yes, that is why I am one and done. I want to keep having brunch with my friends. Mama likes to drink and hang out."
Call me selfish, but these are my reasons, in a nutshell. Thanks for reading. Feel free to comment.
I have jokingly said that I was going to write a book called, "When Two Selfish People Have a Baby," because honestly, my husband is perfect for me. We were best friends. We agree on everything, and love nothing more than to just hang out with each other and never go out. We never get sick of each other, and then we have a baby, and boom! I honestly, don't know if our relationship can handle another baby. It has brought out the ugliest parts of both of us.
First of all, my pregnancy was one of the worst things I have experienced. Honestly, if I could have afforded a surrogate, I would have gone that route. I had nausea and vomiting all day, every day, the first three months, migraines at least twice a week the second trimester, heartburn, swelling, itching, and people constantly telling me how gigantic I was. Except, during the last trimester, I had people ask me if I was on a special diet, because I looked nowhere near 9 months. Make up your freakin minds already!
I really don't want to go through the sleep challenges again. I never again want to rock a baby to sleep for an hour and half or longer, or hear them cry until they fall asleep. It breaks my heart, and I can't do it again. Also the teething, I have done everything I can to help his little hurting gums. He wears a Baltic amber teething necklace, and I give him teething tablets from time to time, but I know his little gums still bother him, as he chews on everything he can get into his mouth.
I want to know I have enough time to focus on my one child. I want to know that we can afford lessons/courses for whatever he wants to learn. I don't want to struggle financially to provide him with the very best education. We have a beautiful, smart baby boy. I have never wanted, and gotten anything more perfect, but he alone, is a lot of work!
We (and when I say we, I mean me), because my husband doesn't even want to talk about it when I tell him constantly, we are only having one, because there is no way I'm doing this again. He says it's up to me, but refuses to get a vasectomy....hmmm.
I also like the fact that when Wilson is napping, we can have Mommy and Daddy time, or I have time to blog, read, or watch my shows. I feel like I might get more of this time as he gets more independent. I can't bring another one into the mix and take my precious, selfish time.
This next thing I'm about to mention is especially selfish, but I'm going to say it anyway. I got really lucky, although, I was sick, even miserable sometimes during pregnancy, my baby was always healthy and fine (even though, I didn't eat as well as I should have), and he was born perfect. (to me) He is a perfect, beautiful mix of both me and my husband. I sometimes have the fear that if we were to try to have another, it might be high needs, autistic, mentally ill, and would wreck our future plans, or that we might not get a girl. (go ahead and crucify me), but honestly, if I had another, I would definitely want it to be a girl. I would want a beautiful, little girl that I could dress up in tutus and oversize hair bows, and if it turned out to be a boy, I would cry. I would love him with all my heart just as much as Wilson, but I would be sad for a time.
I have said maybe if Wilson, himself, asks me for a brother or sister, I might consider it, but I'm almost 32 and he's not even 1, so I think by the time he even considers doing that, I would consider myself too high risk and old to have another anyway.
Right now, with one child, our house is the perfect size. We have plenty of room for the 3 of us in our cute, little house. If I had another child, I would definitely have to buy a bigger home. I hate moving, and never want to do it again, unless it's just temporary. Another thing is traveling. I want to travel all around the world with my son. My dream is to move to different countries, teach English, and let my son learn different languages, and all about different cultures in the world. If you have more than one child, traveling becomes way more of a hassle, and more complicated with things to pack, and keep up with. I know for a fact, we will be traveling to South Korea at least every other year.
I really struggle with how I would give more than one child the love and attention I want to give them. If Wilson wants to learn how to play an instrument, play sports, and get acting lessons, I want to give him all of them, as much as he wants, and I want to be there to watch as much as can, of him learning and growing. I was one of four children, growing up, and I wish that my family had the means to provide me with opportunities to reach my full potential (like studying abroad), and learn everything I wanted, but they just couldn't, because they had to worry about three other children, as well.
People always say I should have another, because Wilson will get lonely. I don't think so. Wilson has more baby friends than I have friends, and he doesn't even know it yet. I get out with him all the time, and everywhere I go, there are tons of other children. I pull out his toys, and I know, he doesn't understand, but I always let all the other children play with his toys, and I will always show him how to share what he has, and be giving and considerate of others.
I was at a baby wearing meeting one day, and I told the other moms that I had to go, because I was having brunch with a friend. One of the moms said, "Oh, the luxury of only having one child." I said in response, "Yes, that is why I am one and done. I want to keep having brunch with my friends. Mama likes to drink and hang out."
Call me selfish, but these are my reasons, in a nutshell. Thanks for reading. Feel free to comment.
Random collections
I am currently reading a book called, "I Was Told There'd Be Cake", by Sloane Crosley. It is freaking hilarious. She opens the book with an essay about how she embarrassingly collects ponies. With all of her ex-boyfriends, she has requested that they buy her a pony, and so she has plastic ponies from all of them stashed in her kitchen cabinet. Today on Facebook, I saw a post about what moms collect. I feel like I collect nothing interesting. I used to collect books and home interior dolls. But then when you move 500 times, you realize you want to live a more minimalist lifestyle. I kind of collect Willow Tree statues, but I'm not too crazy. I check books out from the library now. Anyway, I've made a list of interesting things people like to collect:
1. Pyrex
2. Disney plush dolls
3. cloth diapers (you would not believe the amount of money these crazy mamas will pay for diapers!)
4. Custom fabrics (PUL knits) "Toothless" print seems to be the bees knees. (?)
5. JuJuBee bags
6. yarn
7.wool pants (?)
8. Vintage little people (? Are those those fisherprice thingy toys?)
9. fairy figurines
10. Aden and Anais swaddles (?)
11. thread
12. work boots
13. condemned houses and apartments
14. antique dishes
15. Hallmark ornaments
16. Mox (?, I think they are a type of socks)
17. Johnny Depp stuff
18. legos
19. Washi tape (?)
20. wicker baskets
21. shaped candles (example butterfly, rainbow, flower, peace sign, squirrel etc. shaped)
22. Vintage Disney
23. kitchen gizmos
24. Victoria Secret bras
25. handmade cloth baby wipes
26. Matilda Jane
27. Baking stuff
28. Old game systems (NES, N64, game cube, play station, Xbox360,etc.)
29. Rubber Duckies seemed to be a huge one!
30. small animal figurines
31. salt and pepper shakers
32. Kipling (?)
33. Ornaments
34. Vintage brooches
35. Wizard of Oz stuff
36. Jam berry wraps (Is that a nail polish company?)
37. Casino chips
38. MAC makeup (I have some of this, but by no means have the money to collect it)
39. Scrap-booking stuff
40. Coffee cups (Okay, maybe I collect these a little bit)
41. beer bottle caps
42. cookbooks
43. carnival glass
44. Yankee candles
45. Red Sox stuff
46. Vinyl records (I find this one cool)
47. Cu ski (?)
50. sewing stuff (I wish I could sew.)
51. Mason jars
52. guns and ammo
53. craft supplies
54. angels
55. running shoes
56. lockets and sweetheart jewelry
57.
I had to look a lot of these things up! lol. What are some things you guys collect and why? Not sure why I find other peoples collections fascinating, but I do.
Sunday, January 4, 2015
Let's talk super foods
One thing I want to do in the new year is eat healthier. Here are a list of super foods that I want to try to incorporate in my diet daily. Please post some recipes that you use with these super foods. I would like to try them and see how they turn out.
The superfoods I'm referring to:
1. Chard
2.kale
3. dandelion
4. coconut oil
5. avocados
6. micro greens
7. bone broth
8. kimchi
10. salmon
If you use any of these, what do you use them for? I got the kimchi down, and I'm beginning to use coconut oil more every day, but the others, I'm sort of at a loss. Share with me your ideas in the comments please! Thanks! :)
Jang Family Korean BBQ recipe
1.Buy some boneless Ribs from Costco (you can get them anywhere)
2. Fill a large metal pan with Sea Salt and water (This is to drain the ribs of blood)
3. Cut the Ribs evenly in half and place in cold salted water to drain for at least 2 hours.
4. Take one onion, one Clove of garlic, and one bunch of green onions and cut into pieces. Peel the whole clove of garlic.
5. Take a blender and puree onion,garlic, and scallions into a puree.
6. Pour the puree back into a bowl, add 2 tablespoons of soy sauce, 2 tablespoons of sesame oil, 2 teaspoons of sugar, salt, and pepper, and about 1/4 cup of galbi sauce (Korean market)
7. Mix all the ingredients together. Should be a brown color and if not add some more soy, until a brown color.
8. Drain the water from the ribs, and marinate overnight if possible, but at least a couple of hours. (I put it in a casserole dish, and make sure the ribs are all thoroughly covered in the marinade.
9. Take out the ribs and grill for deliciousness!!
So you'll need:
Ribs
Soy sauce
sea salt
1 onion
1 bunch of green onions
1 clove of garlic
sesame oil
sugar
salt
pepper
Galbi (Korean BBQ) sauce
Casserole dish
blender with puree button
My new bathroom cleaner, using the lemon dÅTERRA essential oil
Recently, I posted on a mom's group about what bathroom cleaners they use. Most use Scrubbing bubbles, and Magic Eraser, which is what I use, but I also just bought the physicians kits from dÅTERRA Essential Oils. So here a recipe that a friend gave me to use with my new oils. I'll let you know how well it works. Supposedly, this is supposed to cut through anything.
3/4 rounded cup baking soda
1/4 cup blue Dawn dish washing liquid
1 tablespoon water
1 tablespoon vinegar
5-10 drops dÅTERRA Lemon essential oil
*I'm not an avid seller, but if anyone would like to place an order for dÅTERRA essential oils or come to a class to check them out, let me know! If you live far away from me there are even online classes about them.
Saturday, January 3, 2015
Halloween is my favorite holiday,obviously! How I dressed my son up for the 31 days of October
For the record, I thought of doing this before I saw anyone else doing it. I am only planning on having one child, so I plan to really make his childhood count, and I really love Halloween. I loved shopping for costumes and seeing how cute he looked in each and every costume. If you missed any when I posted them on facebook, here they all are for the world to enjoy! You're welcome. lol
October 1- Raphael, The Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle
October 2- Wilson as Tigger
October 3- Wilson the teddy bear
October 6- Wilson the hotdog
October 7-Wilson the red, hot chili pepper
October 8- Wilson as Yoda
October 9-Wilson the spider
October 10-Wilson as Superman
October 12- Wilson the very hungry caterpillar
October 12- Wilson the blue crayon
October 16- Wilson the bat
October 18- Wilson the monkey
October 19- Wilson the elephant
October 20- Wilson the duck
October 24- Wilson the bumblebee
October 26- Wilson the cutest pumpkin in the patch
October 27- Wilson the skeleton
October 29- Wilson the pumpkin head
October 30- Wilson the reindeer
And for the grand finale: October 31- Wilson as Wilson the Volleyball from Castaway
On Halloween night, Wilson went to his first Halloween party, and was far from the only adorable baby to celebrate for the first time:
Can't wait to see what costumes I find for him to wear next year! Hope you enjoyed this year. :)
October 1- Raphael, The Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle
October 2- Wilson as Tigger
October 3- Wilson the teddy bear
October 4- Wilson the giraffe
October 5- Wilson the Dino
October 9-Wilson the spider
October 10-Wilson as Superman
October 11- Wilson as Harry Potter
October 11- Wilson the puppy
October 13- Wilson the pea pod
October 14- Wilson the Frog
October 15- The tiger
October 17- Wilson the Hulk
October 21- Wilson the little devil
October 22- Wilson the chicken
October 23- Wilson as Carson the butler from Downton Abbey (not planned)
October 24- Wilson the bumblebee
October 25- Wilson the hound dog
October 26- Wilson the cutest pumpkin in the patch
October 27- Wilson the skeleton
Okay, so I didn't have exactly 31 costumes, but I did have 31 outfits. lol
October 28- Wilson the ghost butt
And for the grand finale: October 31- Wilson as Wilson the Volleyball from Castaway
On Halloween night, Wilson went to his first Halloween party, and was far from the only adorable baby to celebrate for the first time:
Can't wait to see what costumes I find for him to wear next year! Hope you enjoyed this year. :)
Adventures in Mommyland part 1: Adjusting to being a SAHM
I became a mother almost 3 months ago, and I love it so far. I have decided to become a stay at home mom this year (SAHM). I had a really hard time with this, especially at first because I have worked my entire life, since I was a teenager. I have never stayed home without trying to find a job, like finding a job was my job. Anyway, I'm in a place in my life where my husband makes a sufficient amount of money, and if I didn't take at least the first year off, I knew I would regret it!
So anyway, I'm staying home, but I want to try and do this motherhood thing 100%. I only want one child so I really want to do it right. My goals this year are:
1. Learn how to cook well. I'm not trying to be a 5 star chef, but I never cooked before, so this should be a huge undertaking for me. In the words of Carrie Bradshaw, "My oven could be used for storage." My husband has taught me how to make some Korean dishes so far and I've done some crock-pot freezer meals, but I have started to get pretty excited about this whole endeavor.
2. Learn how to organize my home sufficiently. I'm just going to say it: I'm a slob. I'm disorganized and spontaneous and I don't clean house until it disgusts me. That's all in the past. I want to be organized from top to bottom and live very minimal, only buying things that we need and just really, really want. So far this is not going well. I tend to buy everything I think I need for baby right away without doing much research. Old habits die hard. I am still a slob at heart, but I am trying very hard to be cleaner, more organized and more sanitary. Lawd, help me!! Also, if it is a really great deal, then I tend to buy, thinking, "I may need this one day." I need to put myself on a schedule of cleaning and organizing room by room for the week. Actually, I've tried and failed, but I may try again.
3. Getting back into great shape. I have never had a super toned or fit physique, but I would like to try to at least get back to the size I was when I was living in Korea. We are going to travel to South Korea for my son's first birthday. The first birthday is a huge deal in Korea. I am so excited about it, because it will also double as my husband and I's wedding reception. (Even though we will have been married for 4 years at that point.) So we will get to dress in Korean traditional clothing and have a huge party. I will finally get my Korean Wedding!! We were planning to have a Korean wedding as well as an American wedding when we first got married, but we decided to do all these other things instead, such as, move across country, travel, buy a house, and have a child. We haven't been able to make it back to Korea. So having said all that, I have to get back into shape! At my skinniest, I feel like I still look like a blimp compared to Korean women.
I went on a date a Korean guy once and he told me and I quote, "Jessica, you are so beautiful, but you would be even more beautiful, if you lost some weight." Needless to say, we never went on another date. When I was teaching there, I swear at least one or more students a year would come up to me and point to my stomach and say, "Teacher, baby?" I wanted to say in response, "Yeah, your daddy's baby!"; "Go tell your mom," but instead, I would say, "No, I am just fat.!"
I don't mean to brag, but my husband is a very attractive Korean man. I mean in Korean standards, I feel like we are not on the same level of hotness. He is attractive in America, but in Korea, I'm pretty sure he's hot enough to be an actor. So having said that, I have to get back to being relatively hot. I don't know if I trust these skinny Korean girls around my husband.
I have to get back in shape. So I'm thinking of joining the gym, but for now, I have been going on hikes around Nashville with my baby and doing baby yoga, taking walks around the neighborhood.
So anyway, I'm staying home, but I want to try and do this motherhood thing 100%. I only want one child so I really want to do it right. My goals this year are:
1. Learn how to cook well. I'm not trying to be a 5 star chef, but I never cooked before, so this should be a huge undertaking for me. In the words of Carrie Bradshaw, "My oven could be used for storage." My husband has taught me how to make some Korean dishes so far and I've done some crock-pot freezer meals, but I have started to get pretty excited about this whole endeavor.
2. Learn how to organize my home sufficiently. I'm just going to say it: I'm a slob. I'm disorganized and spontaneous and I don't clean house until it disgusts me. That's all in the past. I want to be organized from top to bottom and live very minimal, only buying things that we need and just really, really want. So far this is not going well. I tend to buy everything I think I need for baby right away without doing much research. Old habits die hard. I am still a slob at heart, but I am trying very hard to be cleaner, more organized and more sanitary. Lawd, help me!! Also, if it is a really great deal, then I tend to buy, thinking, "I may need this one day." I need to put myself on a schedule of cleaning and organizing room by room for the week. Actually, I've tried and failed, but I may try again.
3. Getting back into great shape. I have never had a super toned or fit physique, but I would like to try to at least get back to the size I was when I was living in Korea. We are going to travel to South Korea for my son's first birthday. The first birthday is a huge deal in Korea. I am so excited about it, because it will also double as my husband and I's wedding reception. (Even though we will have been married for 4 years at that point.) So we will get to dress in Korean traditional clothing and have a huge party. I will finally get my Korean Wedding!! We were planning to have a Korean wedding as well as an American wedding when we first got married, but we decided to do all these other things instead, such as, move across country, travel, buy a house, and have a child. We haven't been able to make it back to Korea. So having said all that, I have to get back into shape! At my skinniest, I feel like I still look like a blimp compared to Korean women.
I went on a date a Korean guy once and he told me and I quote, "Jessica, you are so beautiful, but you would be even more beautiful, if you lost some weight." Needless to say, we never went on another date. When I was teaching there, I swear at least one or more students a year would come up to me and point to my stomach and say, "Teacher, baby?" I wanted to say in response, "Yeah, your daddy's baby!"; "Go tell your mom," but instead, I would say, "No, I am just fat.!"
I don't mean to brag, but my husband is a very attractive Korean man. I mean in Korean standards, I feel like we are not on the same level of hotness. He is attractive in America, but in Korea, I'm pretty sure he's hot enough to be an actor. So having said that, I have to get back to being relatively hot. I don't know if I trust these skinny Korean girls around my husband.
I have to get back in shape. So I'm thinking of joining the gym, but for now, I have been going on hikes around Nashville with my baby and doing baby yoga, taking walks around the neighborhood.
On being a Korean man's wife
So I taught English in Korea for 3 years. I love Korea so much. I consider it my home now. I could be a travel guide for Seoul, I swear .
I love being a korea man's wife. I feel like I tell people all the time that after living in Korea for about 6 months, I just caught yellow fever,and I couldn't get rid of it.
1. People ask me all the time: what is the difference between Korean man and other men?
I think that Korean men are a bit more, and I don't want to say feminine, but they are definitely more high maintenance. Although my husband has lived in Ameica for so long, he is not anymore. He hardly fixes his hair, unless we're going somewhere special, but Korean men, in general, really care about their hair, and their skin. I've had Korean boyfriends in the past that cared more about their appearance than I did. They took longer in the bathroom than I did. I think Korean men are a bit more shy and not as forward as Western men, from my experience.
2. How my ideal man changed over time.
My ideal man has become very different over the years. (Well now it's my husband) Instead of getting weak in the knees over white dudes, like Ryan Gosling, or Chris Hemsworth,(I mean please I still think these guys are hot too), but I was more into So Ji Sub, Kim Rae Won, and Steven Yeun and other Asian men (particularly Korean).
Kim Rae Won
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3. How my taste in food has changed.
When I first got to Korea, I would barely touch any of the food. It all looked so strange to this meat and potatoes, country girl. But just like the men, Korean food is an acquired taste and quickly becomes addictive. Now every meal consists of rice and kimchi at our house. My favorite things to make are galbi (Korean bbq) and the stews. (Kimchi Jiggae with added meats, Soy bean stew, bijijiggae, gamjatang) I will post some recipes soonish.
Please comment with any questions you have about my lifestyle.
Year of Encouragement 2015
Hello, good people, that take time to read my really boring blog posts,
This year, I want to write blogs that are encouraging to moms and just people in general. In the past, I feel as if I've been a snot in some ways when writing blogs. I'm going to finish my stories now, and not really care if my grammar is exactly perfect, or if I make sense completely, or if people are going to really enjoy reading about what I have to say. I'm just going to write. I'm going to write all the time, in hopes that I come up with some really great ideas that might make history. I'm going to dream and write. When I learn new things I'm going to write it down. I refuse to write negatively though. I was just having a conversation with a friend today, and saying that I really only like to hang out with people who build me up and inspire me to become better. I want to be that person for others as well.
I'll start with my New Year's resolutions.
- I'm going to start my own online teaching/tutoring/proofreading company.
- I'm going to learn how to cook very delicious and healthy food for me and my family to enjoy.
- I'm going to read more books this year.
- I'm going to whip my butt into shape before we go to Korea.
- I'm going to be more organized and keep my house organized for the whole year.
- I'm going to write a ton.
- I'm going to do a lot of hikes, and keep Wilson outdoors as much as possible.
- My house is going to be more sanitary and cleaner than ever.
- I'm going to spend less time on social media and watching TV and more time researching, and reading books, and learning new things.
- I'm going to blog about my journey this year of becoming my best self.
I hope that if anyone reads my blog, they will be encouraged to become their best selves, as well. Happy New Year all. Feel free to comment with your resolutions. :)
love,
Jessica
Favorite music to blog to
What is your favorite music to blog to? I feel like there is certain music that inspires our souls. Currently, I am listening to Fleetwood Mac's pandora station. Love me some Stevie! Tell me your favorites!!
Let's talk Orphan Black (spoilers)
I really love this show. They had me hooked whenever Beth threw herself in front of the train. I had no idea what the show was about. I thought it was about an orphan train coming to America or something. I was so way off. I love that writers have gotten away from vampires lately and moved on to clones. I should have done some more research, I guess. It's so funny that super fans have now started clone clubs.
So far, the only thing I have a problem with is, death by disposal. How in the world could that have really happened? Ainsley could have just taken her scarf off. I would love to hear other fans thoughts so far. I love Tatian Mansley. She is a phenomenal actress. But Felix, is by far my favorite. I was very surprised that he was American and not extremely gay. I prefer him that way. My favorite line, "Now, fetch me something gay."
Okay so I just finished the second season. I loved it, but does anyone besides me wish that Paul was the male clone instead of that other dude?
Okay so I just finished the second season. I loved it, but does anyone besides me wish that Paul was the male clone instead of that other dude?
Let's talk chocolate
I am a chocolate feign, along with coffee and wine, and more recently, beer. What are some of your favorites? I've listed some of mine and please feel free to comment with any awesome recipes you make with Chocolate.
1. Hershey's cookies and cream candy bar.
2. Hershey's special dark. (I've heard it helps with menstrual cramps)
3. Russell Stover's chocolates
4.Godiva dark truffles
5. Lyndt balls (My hubby's favorite)
6. Milk chocolate with almonds
7. Milk chocolate with toffee
8. Whitman chocolates
9. Turtles
10. Milk chocolate covered bacon
11. White chocolate with candy cane pieces
12. Almond Joys
13. White Chocolate with nuts
Oh, I forgot Nutella! This Recipe looks like it would be amazing to try:
http://honestcooking.com/chocolate-chunk-hazelnut-loaf/?utm_source=Honest+Cooking+List&utm_campaign=79ced56974-Jan+5%3A+Recipe+for+Your+Monday+Dose+of+Chocolate&utm_medium=email&utm_term=0_f4c620240a-79ced56974-688983257
1. Hershey's cookies and cream candy bar.
2. Hershey's special dark. (I've heard it helps with menstrual cramps)
3. Russell Stover's chocolates
4.Godiva dark truffles
5. Lyndt balls (My hubby's favorite)
6. Milk chocolate with almonds
7. Milk chocolate with toffee
8. Whitman chocolates
9. Turtles
10. Milk chocolate covered bacon
11. White chocolate with candy cane pieces
12. Almond Joys
13. White Chocolate with nuts
Oh, I forgot Nutella! This Recipe looks like it would be amazing to try:
http://honestcooking.com/chocolate-chunk-hazelnut-loaf/?utm_source=Honest+Cooking+List&utm_campaign=79ced56974-Jan+5%3A+Recipe+for+Your+Monday+Dose+of+Chocolate&utm_medium=email&utm_term=0_f4c620240a-79ced56974-688983257
How to keep your marriage healthy for the new year ahead
I'm mainly talking to me, but perhaps what I've learned could help others as well. This is advice I've gathered and read about from different marriage blogs and columns.
1. Make time for alone time and date night.
Make sure when baby is napping, or get a babysitter in order to have enough bonding and alone time with your husband. Spend every moment you can get alone and love on him.
2. Set boundaries with your parents.
I personally don't have an issue of my parents dropping in, cleaning my house, micro-managing how I raise my child, because my parents live an hour and a half away from us and we hardly see them, but I do need to work on not complaining to my parents about my husband. Sometimes, I do that. I call them up to complain about him. It's almost like telling on him. Sometimes, I do it in front of his face, like he's in trouble. I know this is damaging to my marriage, and I need to stop it.
3. Do Not emasculate your husband to anyone!!
When I was single, I used to work with a bunch of married women, and all they ever did was talk smack about their husbands. Some of them hated their husbands so much, I was really afraid to ever get married after listening to some of their stories. I'll add that most of them are divorced now. It would really hurt my feelings, if I knew my husband was talking nastily about me to anyone, and I need to remember that the next I feel the need to trash him to my friends, co-workers, or friends. Not only that, but don't emasculate him to him. Don't belittle his profession, or his friends, or his hobbies. Build him up in every way possible. Tell him how proud you are of him. I hate it when my husband speaks to me like I'm a child. I want to strive to never talk to him in this manner. The fact of the matter is he is not doing things wrong. ( I want to also strive to stay away from the word, "wrong", but he just does things differently than me. We need to look it over, talk it over, and figure out the most efficient way to do it. When you continue to belittle people you drive them to have zero respect for you.
4. Fight the right way
There is a right way to fight? Apparently. My husband and I are both very blunt, so we tend to not have a problem with bottling things up until we explode, but I know a lot of non-confrontational people like this. Instead, we stand on the side of blowing up over little things, which is not exactly the correct approach either. We both become very scary people, and no one, especially not my baby, needs to see that. When fighting:
A. Do not fight in front of your children, if possible.
We need to set an example for our children. They need to know that it is not acceptable to fight in an exploding manner, or in front of other people.
B. Do not fight in public
First of all, it is very awkward and uncomfortable for the people who are witnessing this. This is embarrassing for the both of you. Let go of the issue until you are alone. This will be better, because it gives you some time to calm down and think it over anyway.
C.Don't be overly dramatic
Like I said, when I get extremely frustrated, I tend to blow up. Try to stay as even headed as possible. I have a bad attitude sometimes. I'm not going to lie. One day, my husband was trying to teach me the proper way to clean something, and I didn't want to do it or hear it, but when I changed my attitude, and decided to be humble and teachable, I realized that he was right, and doing it his way was less time consuming, and more efficient. Just because you are equals, doesn't mean you can't teach each other things.
D. Never bring up things from the past.
Those things already happened. They are done. Over. They are never going to help your current situation. Forgive, and try to forget. Let it go. Do not use it as current ammunition.
E. Don't try to hurt your partner intentionally because you are angry
It's easy to hit below the belt. Words hurt. They are not easily forgotten. You know what buttons to push to send your spouse over the edge. Throw those buttons out with the garbage.
F. Learn from each fight
Stop fighting for the sake of fighting. Take the opportunity to learn something about how to make each other happy. One time when my husband and I were fighting, I said, "You never listen to me!" He said, "Okay, I'm here. I'm listening. I love you. I care about your feelings." I told him my feelings on the matter. He told me his version of how it should be done and why he couldn't understand me. I told him, "Look, we are different people. We think differently." You can learn from your spouse. You can learn to see things from his/her perspective. Take the time to rebuild, rekindle, relate, love, and compromise. And please, for the love of everything, do not bash your spouse behind their back. That is the most hurtful thing you can do.
1. Make time for alone time and date night.
Make sure when baby is napping, or get a babysitter in order to have enough bonding and alone time with your husband. Spend every moment you can get alone and love on him.
2. Set boundaries with your parents.
I personally don't have an issue of my parents dropping in, cleaning my house, micro-managing how I raise my child, because my parents live an hour and a half away from us and we hardly see them, but I do need to work on not complaining to my parents about my husband. Sometimes, I do that. I call them up to complain about him. It's almost like telling on him. Sometimes, I do it in front of his face, like he's in trouble. I know this is damaging to my marriage, and I need to stop it.
3. Do Not emasculate your husband to anyone!!
When I was single, I used to work with a bunch of married women, and all they ever did was talk smack about their husbands. Some of them hated their husbands so much, I was really afraid to ever get married after listening to some of their stories. I'll add that most of them are divorced now. It would really hurt my feelings, if I knew my husband was talking nastily about me to anyone, and I need to remember that the next I feel the need to trash him to my friends, co-workers, or friends. Not only that, but don't emasculate him to him. Don't belittle his profession, or his friends, or his hobbies. Build him up in every way possible. Tell him how proud you are of him. I hate it when my husband speaks to me like I'm a child. I want to strive to never talk to him in this manner. The fact of the matter is he is not doing things wrong. ( I want to also strive to stay away from the word, "wrong", but he just does things differently than me. We need to look it over, talk it over, and figure out the most efficient way to do it. When you continue to belittle people you drive them to have zero respect for you.
4. Fight the right way
There is a right way to fight? Apparently. My husband and I are both very blunt, so we tend to not have a problem with bottling things up until we explode, but I know a lot of non-confrontational people like this. Instead, we stand on the side of blowing up over little things, which is not exactly the correct approach either. We both become very scary people, and no one, especially not my baby, needs to see that. When fighting:
A. Do not fight in front of your children, if possible.
We need to set an example for our children. They need to know that it is not acceptable to fight in an exploding manner, or in front of other people.
B. Do not fight in public
First of all, it is very awkward and uncomfortable for the people who are witnessing this. This is embarrassing for the both of you. Let go of the issue until you are alone. This will be better, because it gives you some time to calm down and think it over anyway.
C.Don't be overly dramatic
Like I said, when I get extremely frustrated, I tend to blow up. Try to stay as even headed as possible. I have a bad attitude sometimes. I'm not going to lie. One day, my husband was trying to teach me the proper way to clean something, and I didn't want to do it or hear it, but when I changed my attitude, and decided to be humble and teachable, I realized that he was right, and doing it his way was less time consuming, and more efficient. Just because you are equals, doesn't mean you can't teach each other things.
D. Never bring up things from the past.
Those things already happened. They are done. Over. They are never going to help your current situation. Forgive, and try to forget. Let it go. Do not use it as current ammunition.
E. Don't try to hurt your partner intentionally because you are angry
It's easy to hit below the belt. Words hurt. They are not easily forgotten. You know what buttons to push to send your spouse over the edge. Throw those buttons out with the garbage.
F. Learn from each fight
Stop fighting for the sake of fighting. Take the opportunity to learn something about how to make each other happy. One time when my husband and I were fighting, I said, "You never listen to me!" He said, "Okay, I'm here. I'm listening. I love you. I care about your feelings." I told him my feelings on the matter. He told me his version of how it should be done and why he couldn't understand me. I told him, "Look, we are different people. We think differently." You can learn from your spouse. You can learn to see things from his/her perspective. Take the time to rebuild, rekindle, relate, love, and compromise. And please, for the love of everything, do not bash your spouse behind their back. That is the most hurtful thing you can do.
What every child needs to hear as they grow up.
I want to say these things to my child daily.
I actually think I need to repeat these things to myself daily as well. I also feel like these are things I need to constantly think and say to my spouse. So basically, everyone needs to hear these things.I have a hard time forgiving myself sometimes of past mistakes. I want to say these things to my students, and help them to believe in themselves in the future. I hope they also inspire you today. Thanks for reading. :)
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