How to lose a job and other advice

Last week was a very unfortunate week for me. I'm still kind of in shock that it actually happened. You know that old saying or is it a Bible verse?: "Pride always comes before a fall."? Well I believe that is a very wise proverb now and I had to learn that the hard way. 

Everything in my life has been going really well for a very long time at this point. I met the man of my dreams. I convinced him to move to my home state closer to my family so that we could settle down. We both got amazing jobs and started building a house. We are planning on having a baby next year and going back to school. I started working out and trying to get in shape. I've connected with some old friends and made some new ones. I have just been on top of my world and I started to reclaim my teenage philosophy of, "Nothing bad can happen to me." Things are great and they are only getting better. 

To be honest I got kind of cocky and when people get that way they generally get reckless. I started writing this blog and lots of people were reading it. I thought, I just know someone is going to give me a book deal soon. Then I had to meet some immature bitch so she could come and stomp all over that! 

This story actually started when I met this girl. (And I still won't use her real name in case she has special powers or is such an expert stalker that she can hack into my computer or something). I mean it's possible, because this girl is obviously completely batshit. So we'll call her Dani. At first glance, Dani looks like you typical state worker: She's obesely overweight, her hair is in desperate need of a straightener or a perm. (Just something to fix that frizzy mess) as well as either highlights or please dye it back to your natural color for goodness sake because the first 3 inches of your hair is brown and the rest of it is frizzy platinum blonde! She always wears ratty Kackis and a some sort of hoodie to work. You know people who work for the gov't are supposed to look professional right? Most of the time this girl wears tennis shoes and those are strictly forbidden by our dress code, but you don't see me even saying anything to her for that. She obsessed with cats. (You get the picture.)

So when I first meet Dani, it's because she is a mutual friend of the girl who got me my job. She works in a completely different department, but the first day we met, we had a nice conversation, and I thought she was cool, despite her appearance. I thought, someone who cares that little about what they look like has got to be a laid back, nice person right? She works in a totally different department, but on the same floor, so I asked if she would like to come to my book and wine club sometime. She told me she would love to do something like that and I was like okay great, "I"ll send you an invite." I added her as a Facebook friend and I thought we were cool. 

Time goes by and realize that Dani rides the train to work in the morning and in the afternoon too. To give you a picture of what this looks like I live like 5 min. from the train station, so I catch the train there and then when you get to downtown, you can either walk 10 minutes to your building or take a shuttle to your building and vice versa in the afternoon to get back to the station. I really like to walk, and I don't mind walking by myself. I mean I have traveled by myself to a bunch of different countries, so walking downtown Nashville is nothing right? WRONG. I swear the sketchiest people in the world lurk there! I walked a couple times by myself and I got sexually harassed. 

Side Note: What do men think they are going to accomplish by sexually harassing a woman as she walks down the street? Do they think one day they are going to be saying these positively disgusting things to a woman way out of their creepy leagues and the woman will turn around and be like, "Awesome, I love a disgusting guy who probably will never have a real job or hanging out the window of his friend's crappy car. Let's go into that alley and you can do whatever you want to me?" If you are one of those guys and you are reading this. Please grow up and buy some class if you have to. 

So anyway after getting harassed as I walked down almost a whole street. I was like I'm not going to walk by myself anymore! I'll either take the shuttle or walk with someone else. The only person on my floor at work that rode the train besides me was that Dani girl and this older lady. The older lady was actually very nice and willing to walk with me, but she only rode the train on and off. So I asked Dani if she would ride the train with me. She looked at me and with a fake whiny voice, she said, "I just never know what time I'm going to leave." The train leaves at the same time everday! ouch... So I looked at her like, are you kidding me?? I said, "You know Dani, I don't really care what time we leave, as long as we get to the train on time." She said, "If I can remember." 

I got to thinking about it. I usually went out to go get coffee with a friend that I worked with everyday on my break. One day my friend Shayla and I went to get coffee. We saw Dani and she acted like she didn't see me. Then after that I noticed she never asked to walk with me to the train and if she saw me she wouldn't even try to say hi or anything, yet she walked with everyone else in the building wherever. It was like she was blatantly trying to send me a message without saying anything.  I told Shayla, "I know that girl doesn't like me. I have no idea why though. I've only tried to be nice to her in every way possible." Shayla said, "Isn't it obvious why she doesn't like you? You are much prettier and have a much better figure than her." She said some girls are just petty that way. I still thought maybe I was overreacting, though. I wanted to give her the benefit of the doubt. 

Not long after that, I sent out a mass email about Wine and Book club. I asked to see if anyone/everyone was coming that month. Most everyone said they were coming. I totally forgot that she was on the list. But she very rudely wrote, "I don't think I'm going to be able to be apart of this." and left the conversation. Then I knew for sure this girl is jealous and petty and has it out for me. But what can she do except just keep being a bitch. I've done nothing to her, so if she wants to dislike me that's her problem. I'll just act like she doesn't exist and forget about her.  That's exactly what I did. I forgot she existed. I had forgotten and let the whole thing go. Not long after that she added me as a friend on my book website. I thought about not accepting, but I was like whatever. 

I started writing this blog and a lot of times, I can't remember some of the things that happened five years ago and I wish I would remember details a lot more, because the details are what make the story great. Well while all of these things were happening with this Dani girl, a totally different girl that worked in the next cubicle was driving me insane. She compared herself to me constantly and she would listen in on my personal conversations with everyone in the office and come over and comment on them right after. She would invite herself to go with me every time I left my cubicle. She even suggested she come over to my house so we could workout together on the weekends. I could tell from the beginning, this girl had a lot of issues and was a pathological liar. I did not want to hang out with her and would find myself writing people emails and never talking out loud. This girl got so bad that I went to ask my supervisor if I could move my cubicle to the other side of the floor, but my supervisor said that she thought that it would only cause more of a distraction. So I thought, I'll just have to grow some balls and tell this girl off in a professional manner.

In the meantime, I thought, Oh my god, this would be an amazing story for my blog, and I should write it all down now so I don't forget anything that happened with her. So that is exactly what I did. I wrote down everything this girl did and all of my coworkers reactions to her. I did not use real names or places. I didn't send any links to this story, but I did post it to my blog. Now, I know THAT is the Stupidest mistake I have every made in my life!!!! I honestly didn't think any of my coworkers knew that had a blog or any of them would care enough to read it if they did. I'll make a confession. I never read blogs and if I do, I just skim them for info and that's it. I mean I don't even read my best friends' blogs. Sorry friends. I just never get to it. 

BOY! Was I ever wrong, in my thinking! Not only did coworkers read my blog, but the girl that hates me for no reason reads it and then she makes the connections and prints it off at work and spreads it around and then somehow it gets to my director, even though I didn't use anything that could prove I was talking about anyone at work. The blog had absolutely Nothing to do with her!! She doesn't even work in my department!

The only person with integrity at work. A guy named Christian, comes to me before it all goes down and said, "Jess, people are reading your blog." You should probably delete it. He said, "Dani, just came up to me and said, so I guess you are a big flirt." Which is something I wrote in my blog. I was like "Oh my god." I started hyperventilating and I deleted the post. I told him I was sorry. "People at work weren't supposed to read that and even if they did I didn't think they would make the connections or bring it to work." I was so upset. I wanted to cry and throw up and go home. I began to worry more and more. I went straight to my manager. I told her that I had written something and I felt like an idiot. She said, "I think I know what you are talking about." I was like "OH NO." Then I knew it was too late and was sure I would lose my job then.

So we went to talk to the director and she said that she didn't think my method of venting was a very good one. She said she could make assumptions as to who I was talking about. She said it caused a disruption at work and because of that policy I was to be suspended for a day a half, but she wanted to see me on Wednesday because I was an excellent worker and I did a good job.  I told her thank you for not being harsher and took my punishment. I walked by myself to catch the train. I was so disappointed in myself for being so terribly stupid and naive. I vowed to make everything private and never trust anyone again. 

The more I thought about, the more I thought, This is so unfair. I didn't bring that to work. I was just writing a ridiculously funny story and who knows if I just made the whole damn thing up? I didn't use anything real. Those events did happen, but how do they know who I'm talking about unless they think the same thing? Why didn't that miserable petty bitch get into more trouble than me? She is the one who brought it to the workplace! Everyone would have been none the wiser if she hadn't done that to me. Of course, I posted what happened on Facebook, so that I could warn everyone else. I will never trust any of my coworkers ever again! 

When I went back into work after my day of suspension, hardly anyone would talk to me except to answer in short answers. My superiors didn't treat me any differently, but I could definitely tell who was told that I "wrote about them" and who wasn't, by how nice they were to me. I mean I can't say how I would act if someone told me that someone else wrote about me. I am almost positive that people have written about me before, but as long as they didn't use my real name and didn't write anything bad or even if they did, who really cares? I had no intention of defaming anyone at all, and I hope anyone who knows me wouldn't have to question that fact. Also, if I write about you, you more than likely deserve it. Anyway, I was thinking this will all get better and blow over. I wanted to talk to my director and tell her that I didn't think things were handled even-handedly. 

I had a conversation with my director that day to tell her how unfair I felt the situation was. She said the other side was handled. I wanted to be like, "NO, it wasn't, because that girl is still here! Nothing happened to her!" but I didn't want to make things worse on myself, so I just said, "Okay." But before I left, she said, "I must tell you that it may not be over." I was like, "Why can't it just be over?" She said, "Someone else is reviewing this." I said, "Well I really hope that you and whomever else, take into consideration that I did not bring that here, I was never unprofessional in the workplace, and I deleted it and went straight to my manager as soon as I found out that someone else brought that here." She said, "Okay, thank you." 

So I told a couple of people my story. One girl that worked with me and had been promoted from my position before I got there, said there was no way they would fire me because they needed people too bad right now to process retirement. She also said, "Oh that's why the director came around and said,"" I just want to reiterate the policy that you are not allowed to be on Facebook at work or print off any personal material."" So that's how the other side was handled....She told me to just keep doing well at my job and by the time the summer's over, everyone will have forgotten about it. 

I went into work the next day, trying to stay positive. I put up inspirational quotes around my desk. I kicked ass and got all my work done. I had to ask for more work and was very focused. My husband and my friend came to have lunch with me that day and really brightened my spirits. Then at the end of the day, my director requested that I come into her office for a "discussion" with the HR lady. I knew then they were still going to fire me. I tried praying, but I knew it was no use. So I just went in there and I said, "So what is the reason?" The HR lady said, "TN is hire at will, fire at will, so we have just decided to not continue your 6 month probation that you are on when you first start working here. We don't have to give a specific reason." I told them that I hoped that if any new employers called them they would only comment on my work ethic, because if they ask any of my managers or supervisors they will say that I was excellent at my job. They informed me that the only information they could give was the dates that I worked there. My director said she wished it hadn't come to this, but it was over her head. So I asked if I could resign instead and I did. 

I thought since I don't work there anymore, maybe I should really confront that terrible, miserable girl that made this happen. But one of my good friends, who kind of has a super power for reading people. (unlike me, obviously) said that would be the worst thing, because this girl was obviously stalking me, because I didn't even make that post public. She might get a restraining order against me or something! The only things I have ever seen this girl post on FB are how she has been trying for like 5 years to have a baby and can't, so she and her husband are paying for all this fertility stuff. Secondly, she posts about how she's on all this medication and has to go to the chiropractor for her back.(I used to feel sorry for her, but now I'm beginning to think maybe bad things happen to her, because she's a bad person) And finally she always "checks in" to church every Sunday. So this girl (and these are just my thoughts, I'm apparently nowhere near psychic) in her  mind has probably justified doing this to me  in her sick "Christian" mind as doing "God's work" or something. My blog is about my sexual and drunken experiences overseas. I don't try to hide that, those things are part of my life. I am obviously very happy even though I don't profess my faith in anything all over the place. So I really can't and I'm going to quote my friend, "Compete with that kind of crazy." 

So in summary, I've decided to continue to just be happy. Apply my ass off at every company and/or school until I get something good. I have privatized everything. I will be nice to my future coworkers, but I refuse to trust any of them. I don't know and will probably never know what drives people to become petty or catty or whatever else, but I will avoid such people in the future. Nothing good can come of that, no matter how nice you are, apparently. I am a firm believer in Karma. I think what you put into the universe will come back to you way worse. I just really hope I get to hear what happens to this nasty person.